Laying Firewood & Trusting God for Fire
Family discipleship is an exciting topic, but I can find myself feeling behind. My vision and plans for family discipleship are usually implemented in bursts; great starts with a lack of follow-through. An out of town trip throws me off, a big shift in life circumstances pops up, or just fatigue from life, work, and fathering four young kids takes a toll. In the midst of all that, nothing compares to the joy of seeing your spouse and children growing in the love and knowledge of Christ! These moments of intentional discipleship all add up; it’s like laying "firewood" in the lives of each of my beloved in my home.
I imagine stacking firewood around the hearts of my wife and children. Every small investment is like adding a log to the pile. Lighting the fire isn’t up to me–that's God's job— I just stack the wood, knowing His Word is "living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword" (Hebrews 4:12), that "it will not return to Him empty" (Isaiah 55:11).
Discipleship starts at home—not in the pews or in the classroom. It’s in the everyday moments—during meals, car rides, while wrestling on the living room floor—that where a proper understanding of God, self, and others form. So, let’s talk about creating a family discipleship plan, not as another item on the to-do list, but as a joyful and life-giving priority.
Years ago, my wife and I created a family mission statement, along with our family values, which has provided direction for us. Our mission statement is simple: "To raise the flag of Christ by flying it in our home, advancing it to the nations, and staking it in the depths of our hearts." We aim to lift high the name of Jesus, starting in our own hearts and flowing into our home. I think of Deuteronomy 6:5-7, which says:
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”
This shapes how we think about our home—discipleship is woven into the fabric of everyday life. That being said, here are eleven ways I lay firewood with my family:
Consistently Pray
Most of my insights on family discipleship have come straight out of the prayer closet from God, Himself. I ask God for wisdom and clarity in my leadership often and in this practice I’ve learned the value of consistently praying specific things for each member of my family. Each year I try to write a letter to each of my children on their birthdays, summarizing what I’ve been praying for them. A prayer plan helps me continually lift up my wife and each child before the Lord. I find peace knowing God loves them even more than I do - and that's hard to imagine!
2. Cultivate Small Wins
In the busyness of life, it's easy to overlook the small moments. In reality, discipleship often happens on the fly, in car ride conversations, bedtime prayers, or a quick check-in after school. These things may seem small but they are wins nonetheless! Instead of overprotecting my children, I try to expose them to new ideas and help them interpret what they’re seeing from a Christian worldview. Don’t shield your kids from every challenge—let them struggle and come alongside them as they learn and grow.
3. Capture Moments
The truth is, more is caught than taught, and our children are learning from us all the time. Some of our favorite activities include mission trips, game nights, pizza and movie nights, and opening our home for hospitality.Traveling has proven to be where some of the richest discipleship moments happen for our family. Shared experiences strengthen our family bond and provide a natural context for discipleship.
4. Champion Values
What Christlike character traits are important to you? What values do you want to instill? What skills do you want them to be equipped with before they leave home? It’s crucial to work with your spouse to identify what you want your family to represent. For us, we created an acrostic with our last name to remind us of what’s most important to us. When I see opportunities to reinforce these values—whether it's in conversations, discipline, or encouragement—I try to promote and reinforce them.
5. Create Rhythms
Having a plan is key. Over the years we've established rhythms in different seasons for family devotions, dates, and Friday night family nights. This year, our family devotions have focused on knowing and responding to the love of Christ, with three main goals: 1) Knowing God, 2) Becoming like God, and 3) Making God known. We’re also finishing up a three-year journey through a Bible overview called “CASKET EMPTY” by Carol Kaminski. Once we’re done, we’re planning to celebrate with a giant "Vermonster" from Ben & Jerry’s—because milestones deserve celebration!
6. Capitalize on Seasons
My wife, Michelle, is amazing at making the most of seasonal opportunities. During holidays, she introduces helpful practices or a new devotional series for the family. Whether it’s Advent readings or an Easter devotion, these rhythms help us “reset” when life gets hectic. Even when we’ve been inconsistent with family devotions, these seasonal practices give us a chance to re-engage and refocus on what matters to us most.
7. Continue Showing Up
When we least expect it the best discipleship moments happen. Late-night conversations with my kids tend to be the most meaningful, even though they come at the end of long days. My wife has taught me the importance of just showing up—emotionally and mentally. Instead of being distracted, I try to be fully present, ready to engage, even when I’m exhausted.
8. Come Home Ready
After a long day at work, I need to be ready to engage with my family. Checking out is easy when you’re tired, but I’ve found it helpful to pray before I get home, take a brief walk to reset, and sometimes even have a quick shot of caffeine to recharge. Whatever it takes to be fully present with my wife and kids is worth it. They are worthy of my best and I want to give my best to them!
9. Corporate Worship
Worshiping together as a family in the larger body of Christ is vital. It grounds us, refreshes us, and reminds us of our shared identity in Christ. Whether we’re feeling tired or full of life, we try to prioritize gathering for worship, receiving the sacraments, and going to the cross together. It helps us stay rooted in the bigger picture of God’s work in our lives.
10. Celebrate Progress
Ultimately we’re after progress, not perfection. I’ll miss opportunities, I’ll fail, and I’ll get it wrong pretty frequently. But Jesus is gracious. He fills the gaps. As Philippians 1:6 promises, “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” That’s true both for us as parents and for our kids.
11. Conclusion: Start Small, But Start
As you think about creating a discipleship plan for your family, remember—it doesn’t have to be perfect or complicated. Start small. Maybe it’s reading a Bible story at dinner or praying together in the morning. The key is to start.
My encouragement to you is this: be proactive, be present, and trust God to work through your intentional efforts. The firewood you lay today, God will ignite by fire in His time.